Jack!
by Orrymain
Summary: Daniel decides Jack is getting too close and opts to end their relationship.


Jack!  
Author: Orrymain Author Email: (Feedback welcome)  
Author Website: Category: Slash, Mini-Angst, Romance, Established Relationship Pairing: Jack/Daniel ... and it's all J/D Rating: NC-17 Season: 2 Spoilers: None Size: 32kb Written: September 25-28,30, October 2,7, 2004 Summary: Daniel decides Jack is getting too close and opts to end their relationship.  
Disclaimer: Usual disclaimers -- not mine, wish they were, especially Daniel, and Jack, too, but they aren't. A gal can dream though!  
Notes: 1) Silent, unspoken thoughts by various characters are indicated with in front and behind them, such as Where am I  
2) This fic stands alone, but it does reference my past fics, "Adjustment and Parameters" 3) Thanks to my betas who always make my fics better: Claudia, QuinGem, Sue, Linda, Drdjlover, Brenda!  
  
Jack by Orrymain  
  
Daniel closed the book he'd been reading. He sighed, wondering why he hadn't enjoyed it as much as he thought he would. It wasn't the subject matter. It had been fascinating, but somehow, he felt a little empty.  
  
Placing the book on the middle sofa cushion, he stood and walked to his balcony. He opened the door and walked outside.  
  
It's cold. Wish Jack was here to warm me up. Gawd, just ... turn on the heat. That's all you have to do, Jackson.  
  
Daniel looked up at the stars and smiled.  
  
He wished upon a star -- for me. Just for me. Mmm. I can feel him.  
  
Daniel sighed again, shaking his head.  
  
This is ridiculous. Can't you even look at a star anymore without thinking about Jack? Jack. My Jack. He's so sexy. Oh, for crying out loud, stop channeling him.  
  
Frustrated, the archaeologist went into his kitchen, hoping to find some comfort food to make him feel better. He looked inside the refrigerator and considered warming up the leftover Chinese food from dinner, but decided against it. Nothing really seemed to appeal to him, so he moved to the cabinets and opened the one closest to the refrigerator. He looked on the shelves, hoping to find something that would wet his appetite, but nothing looked good there, either.  
  
Then he opened another cabinet.  
  
Cereal. Yeah.  
  
He took it down and poured half a bowl before he realized what he was about to eat.  
  
Froot Loops? I don't even like them! Why I am eating freakin' Froot Loops?  
  
"Jack."  
  
Daniel tossed the bowl of cereal and the box into the trash, kicking the lid closed with his foot.  
  
"I'm going to bed."  
  
He opened his dresser drawer to pull out his pajamas, and then realized what he was looking at.  
  
"NO, I AM NOT WEARING THESE," he shouted, slamming shut the drawer containing the blue clothing.  
  
Instead, he opted to just wear his white v-neck T-shirt and boxers. He got into his bed and pulled the covers up to his neck.  
  
Flannel sheets. Warm. Comfy. Who needs strong hands or fingers that feel like warm rain against me? Who needs to have a strong heartbeat to listen to? I can ... turn on the radio.  
  
"Crap!"  
  
Daniel turned over on to his left side, making sure the covers were still pulled taut. He patted down his pillow with his right hand several times, trying to get comfortable.  
  
This is a pillow. It's a normal, everyday pillow. Most people sleep on normal, everyday pillows, not on Air Force Colonels.  
  
He groaned at his inability to feel settled in his own bed.  
  
This is a nice bed. It's big enough. I've been sleeping on it for a long time. I'm a grown man. I do not need another grown man in my bed in order to fall asleep. I don't! I don't, I don't, I don't!  
  
The insomniac archaeologist switched to his right side, and once again tried to beat his pillow into submission.  
  
"This is wrong," he said softly. I shouldn't feel like this. He's too close. I can't function. It's like ... like he's taken over every part of my life. I mean, it's bad enough that I'm betraying Sha're, that I'm living a lie, but ... this is ... it's sick that I can't sleep without him anymore.  
  
He moved to a supine position since sleeping on his right and left sides hadn't worked. Thirty minutes later, he was still staring at the nothing that was above him. With a dramatic, almost helpless sounding sigh, he asked his ceiling, "Gawd, why can't I sleep?"  
  
In an attempt to drown out his mind, Daniel grabbed the other pillow and covered his face with it.  
  
"STOP THINKING!" he ordered himself.  
  
Wish I could kel-no-reem. That's it!  
  
Daniel settled into the most comfortable position he could. He closed his eyes, determined to shut out the world. He pushed the real world as far away as he could, focusing instead on soothing sounds. He imagined hearing the ocean waves crashing against the shore. There was a golden sunset on the horizon and the sound of the waves was intoxicating. He imagined himself sitting on the beach, the water running up against his feet. Daniel curled his toes and smiled. A soft breeze blew against his body.  
  
It was peaceful, and he began to relax more and more. In his mind, he looked out on the ocean and saw a boat in the distance. It was a sailboat. He thought how awesome it would be to be out on the ocean in that sailboat.  
  
The vessel grew closer, and Daniel stood up. He could see a figure waving to him, almost beckoning to him to swim out. Still at peace, Daniel watched as the boat came even closer. He felt so good. He was sure the tranquil setting and calming sounds would lull him to sleep.  
  
Then the image in his mind focused solely on the sailboat, and then ...  
  
"NO! FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, NO!"  
  
Daniel pulled the covers over his head, trying to hide. The figure on the boat was Jack, motioning for him to come join him for a sail. The face was smiling, happy, and absolutely gorgeous in the young man's opinion.  
  
The archaeologist tried the old fable of counting sheep next.  
  
"Crap. When did Jack turn into a sheep?"  
  
It wasn't any use. Daniel tossed and turned for two hours. Finally, he lay supine, throwing one pillow off the bed in frustration and bringing the other to lie atop him. His hands held the white, fluffy bedding to his body. He sighed dramatically.  
  
It's just not good. I've lost control. I need him too much, and ... sooner or later, he's going to leave. The day is going to come when he'll get tired of me. I know it's going to happen, and if I don't protect myself, I'll be sorry. I need my walls back. I need my protection back. I ... I let him in. Bad mistake. Look at you, Jackson. You're falling apart. You know what you have to do. Cold turkey. It's the only way. It's ... the right thing.  
  
Unable to sleep or silence his inner torment, Daniel rose from the bed. He decided to take a shower. It was 3 a.m., but he hoped the shower would free him from his thoughts, and then, maybe, he could get a few hours sleep before having to report for duty at the Mountain.  
  
A shower will do it.  
  
He loved the water and the feel of it on his back. He turned on the water, adjusted the temperature to his liking, and smiled at the tender pulses of the delicate spray against his body. He closed his eyes and found peace. Then it happened.  
  
"Jack, wash my back."  
  
His eyes blinked open as he realized what he'd just said. He knew he was alone, but standing under the showerhead, he'd been remembering countless showers with his lover. They might have only been together a few months, but in that time, they'd discovered that making love under the falling mist was one of their favorite things.  
  
Daniel couldn't help but remember some of those showers. Jack had purchased deluxe showerheads for both of them. Sometimes, they adjusted the spray to a stronger setting, and at other times, they let it barely run on one of the lighter options. Their watery rendezvous could be under a thundering shower, a soft rain, or a light mist, depending upon their moods.  
  
Upset with himself, and with his current shower having lost its appeal, Daniel dried himself off and dressed in his sweats. They were evergreen in color, and very warm.  
  
He stood in front of the mirror and began to brush his hair.  
  
It's the right thing. I'm sorry, Jack, but I can't do this. I know you say you won't, but you'll leave me in the end. I can't let myself get hurt like that. I really don't think I'd survive. Gawd, look at me. I can't eat without you. I can't sleep unless you're in my bed. I can't even take a shower without you there to ... gawd, wash me. It's too much. I've given you too much. It has to end. You'll see. It's the best thing for both of us. You can find someone else, maybe even Sam. I just ... need to be independent. I've always had to rely on myself. I'm the only one I can trust, the only one who won't ... hurt me, who won't leave me.  
  
He held on tightly to the hairbrush which he lowered to waist level. He stared at himself, feeling both confident and afraid.  
  
It has to be like this. I've lost myself in you, Jack. I can't need someone as much as I need you. Gawd, it's like needing to breathe, I have to know you're here. I can't live like this. I'm sorry. I'll tell you this morning. You'll argue, but I'll get you to understand. You'll be happier, and I'll survive; I won't get hurt.  
  
He continued brushing his hair, as he said, "It is the best thing."  
  
In silence, he continued his lecture, until finally he was sure: one-hundred percent positive, without a doubt, absolutely sure that he was going to end his love affair with Jack O'Neill. He'd let himself become too attached, too devoted, too in need of this man whom he loved so much. He felt out of control and vulnerable. Daniel was scared, and the only cure for that was to end the relationship.  
  
Yep, that's what I'll do, just as soon as I see you. It'll be the very first thing I'll say to you.  
  
"Hey, Beautiful," Jack said, turning the corner into the bedroom.  
  
There was one pause, so minute that not even Jack had noticed it. It was a moment of truth, one that would alter their future forever. Would Daniel follow through on his decision to breakup with his lover, or would he fall into Jack's arms, letting his love overrule the logic of his mind?  
  
"Jack!"  
  
The word was spoken tenderly, and Daniel had the biggest, brightest smile on his face. In fact, it was positively huge. His eyes sparkled, alight with love for the man who had just entered the room. Jack took his lover into a warm embrace, and immediately, Daniel threw his arms up around the older man's neck.  
  
In one moment, one brief second of time, all of Daniel's frustrations and worries disappeared; his concerns about their future and his loss of independence just didn't seem as important as they had only five seconds earlier. His love was there, holding him, and nothing else mattered but that. Daniel's 'truth' was that he loved Jack so completely that not even his fears and insecurities could keep him apart from the older man.  
  
"Jack," he said again, softly, almost whispered.  
  
"I love you, Danny," Jack said and then kissed his lover. "Whatcha' doing up so early? It's barely 4 a.m."  
  
"Jack," Daniel repeated, his eyes gazing into Jack's chocolate brown eyes.  
  
He leaned forward for another kiss, and as he did, his fingers combed through the fine strands of Jack's hair.  
  
"Aren't you going to answer my question?"  
  
"Na-uh," the young man said, still smiling, and, in fact, radiating a blissful happiness that came from being with his lover.  
  
"You are so beautiful, Danny. Look at you. Your eyes are sparkling."  
  
"I missed you."  
  
They kissed again, Jack's hands slipping down to Daniel's lower back, causing the younger man to shiver from the touch. As they joined their lips and tongues, Daniel's mind raced with his internal conflict ... for about two seconds; but then the conflict fled, for now anyway, and Daniel realized that his debate had really ended the moment Jack had walked into the bedroom. The insecurity might come back, but in the current moment, what filled Daniel was love: loads and loads of love.  
  
Oh, Jack. I got so scared, but I want you, and I need you. Don't let me run. I was going to. I'd talked myself into it: made a list of so many reasons why we're wrong, but we're not wrong. This is right; it's so right. Stop me, Jack. Stop me from running away from you.  
  
"Missed you, too. This was a bad idea, Danny: your staying here alone tonight."  
  
"Jack," Daniel said again, and then nibbled on Jack's lower lip before enjoying yet another kiss. "Not ... gawd, not complaining, but why are you here?" he asked, but not stopping their kisses.  
  
"Told you. I missed you, and I couldn't sleep. Looks to me like you're in the same boat."  
  
"Mmm," Daniel sighed as they kissed again.  
  
Jack's hands lowered, going inside Daniel's green sweatpants. Both palms caressed his lover's buttocks, pressing them to move Daniel closer to him, if that were possible.  
  
"Jack. My Jack," the archaeologist practically sang as they continued to kiss.  
  
Their faces turned back and forth as they shifted positions, and Daniel's hands rubbed Jack's upper back. Finally, they both needed and wanted more.  
  
Jack pulled off the sweatshirt, tossing it over to rest on a chair. Daniel made quick work of Jack's tan shirt, unbuttoning it in haste, pulling it off of Jack's shoulders and letting it drop to the floor.  
  
"Love you, Danny."  
  
"Jack ... mmm."  
  
Daniel was lost in the enticing sensations of his lover, the need for intimacy consuming him. They took short steps as they kissed and fondled, moving slowly towards the end of the bed and stopping right next to it.  
  
Daniel placed a kiss on Jack's right shoulder and moved downward. As his lips touched Jack's chest over and over again, he began to push Jack's black pants down. His gliding motions ceased when he took Jack's erection in his mouth. Flicking his tongue in teasing touches, he savored the feel, taste and scent of his lover.  
  
Jack placed his hands on his lover's shoulder's, his fingers digging slightly into Daniel's skin as he ran them from left to right and then all along the shoulder blades and upper back.  
  
"Danny ..." he gasped from pleasure at the sucking of his length.  
  
He leaned forward slightly as Daniel slid the shaft in and out of his mouth, though never truly letting the object escape his hold.  
  
Jack's hands slid up the back of the younger mans' head, his fingers carding through the shaggy brown hair. He massaged Daniel's head repeatedly as Daniel returned to the teasing flicks of his tongue.  
  
When Daniel finally released the shaft, he was about to place teasing kisses all around the area, but Jack pulled him up for a long, deep kiss.  
  
"Jack ... say it ..."  
  
"Love you, Danny."  
  
"I love you, Jack, so freakin' much. Love you," he said as their bodies leaned together for their kiss.  
  
Jack stepped out of the remainder of his clothing. He turned Daniel to face the bed and he moved behind him. In a flash, Jack grabbed the lube that was in the top left hand drawer of the dresser, and then quickly pulled down his lover's sweats.  
  
"Green sweats?" Jack inquired, as he pushed his finger inside Daniel.  
  
Daniel's head leaned back against his lover. He raised his right hand to hold on to Jack's head.  
  
"Didn't ... no ... blue."  
  
"You have blue ones," Jack said just as he removed the finger and then quickly inserted two fingers, twisting them.  
  
"Didn't ... want ... to wear ... blue ... so ... sor ... sorry," Daniel gasped.  
  
"We need to talk later."  
  
"No. Love ... you."  
  
Jack knew something wasn't quite right and made a mental note to find out about it later ... much later. At the moment, he had more important things to attend to.  
  
He moved to the next phase, embedding his shaft inside his lover. Daniel moaned at the sensation, and again called out the name of his soulmate.  
  
"Jack. Oh, Jack."  
  
Slowly at first, Jack moved his length back and forth without going as deeply as he could have.  
  
"More," Daniel requested. "Jack. My Jack," he said softly.  
  
"I am, Danny. I'm yours," Jack said, realizing that his lover had said those words an extraordinary number of times since his arrival. He had a hunch Daniel had doubted the truthfulness of that fact, and thus, reinforced his mental resolve to definitely talk with Daniel about it later. "All yours," he reiterated, wanting Daniel to hear the words again from in his voice.  
  
Jack's movements increased in speed as his hands slid up and down the sides of Daniel's body. As the powerful momentum increased, Daniel fell forward onto the bed. They paused only briefly as Daniel crawled up about midway, applying pressure to the palms of his hands and knees as he took what was commonly referred to as the doggie position, something both men thought was a ridiculous moniker.  
  
Jack moved onto the bed, scooting in close behind Daniel. He placed his hands on his lover's back as he again inserted his length, resuming his titillating movements back and forth.  
  
"Yes, gawd, yes," Daniel cried out as Jack's shaft finally made contact with his prostate. It was an incredible feeling that Daniel had once been amazed at, never having imagined what it could be like, but now he craved it. The sensations were strong, the impacts sending tremors rippling through his body. "Har...har...der," he demanded.  
  
"So ... de...man...ding," Jack said as he continued his thrusts.  
  
"You keep ... gawd ... yes ... telling ... me to ... to, uh ... oh yeah ... there ... right ... oh ... Jack ... uh, you keep ... tell...ing me to ... to ... uh ..."  
  
"Say what ... you ... want an...d ... need?"  
  
"Yeah ... that, " Daniel answered, his head bowed as he felt the force of the last impact.  
  
Daniel was right. Jack was always trying to convince him that it was okay to demand, or at least ask for, whatever gave him pleasure. He was getting better at vocalizing his wants and needs with Jack's loving nagging and prodding; but more times than not, Daniel was still trying to please Jack, afraid that Jack would leave him if he didn't keep the older man satisfied ... in every way.  
  
"Go...od! Keep ... doing ... that. Gon...na give you ... what ... you ... want ... for...e...ever, Danny."  
  
Daniel was best at making his needs known during their lovemaking. He wasn't sure why it was easier then; maybe it was because they were both lost in the emotion of love during their unions, but whatever the reason, whenever the two made love, it was the one time Daniel was aggressively expressing his desires. He couldn't always do it during foreplay, or even in the aftermath, but in the throes of passion, the archaeologist was finally saying what he wanted, and dramatically so.  
  
"Be ... sel...selfish," Jack groaned. Tell ... me what ... you ... want!" Jack reiterated, wanting to support Daniel's growing ability to be 'demanding'.  
  
"Want ... want ..."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Want ... you to ... shut ... up and keep on ... doing ... this."  
  
Jack laughed, leaning over to place a kiss on the middle of Daniel's wet back.  
  
"Love ... you."  
  
"Too!" Daniel just managed to get out.  
  
Beads of sweat rolled down Jack's face, falling onto Daniel's back. Daniel's fingers gripped the sheets, scrunching it as the desired barrage continued. Jack's hands rubbed hard against Daniel's back as he looked for support with his forward attack. He took his hand as he leaned over Daniel and began to stroke his lover's length.  
  
"Jack ... oh, gawd ... oh ... yes ... yessss," Daniel said with a throaty rasp to his voice. His breathing was labored, his body swaying from Jack's potent thrusts. "Jack ... need ... this ... you ... yes, Babe ... do it harder ... harder, Jack ... more ... need ... more."  
  
More? I'm dying here.  
  
Still, Jack made his striking blows even more forceful. Every hit, every touch now had both screaming out their love, and then finally, Jack lunged forward, his shaft connecting with Daniel's prostate in a mighty charge that caused him to explode inside the younger man. He squeezed slightly and made a few stronger strokes on Daniel's length until Daniel came in his hands.  
  
The two collapsed forward, Jack still inside his lover, his head resting gently on Daniel's back.  
  
"Love you, Danny. Ev...everything ... you're ... everything to me."  
  
"Jack. My Jack," Daniel said, his cheek rubbing against the sheets.  
  
"Always. Always yours, Love."  
  
A minute later, Jack withdrew. Daniel moaned from the loss, but was too exhausted to say anything except his tender, "Jack."  
  
Jack placed several sweet kisses on his lover's convulsing body, whispering words of love and affection. He moved up to Daniel's shoulder, kissed it, and then Daniel's nape. He nibbled on Daniel's left earlobe.  
  
"Mmm. Oh, Jack," Daniel crooned peacefully.  
  
Jack smiled. With his left hand, he pushed back Daniel's long hair that was covering his face and leaned forward to kiss the stubbly cheek.  
  
Daniel sighed happily and began to roll over onto his back, so Jack moved accordingly to lie atop his soulmate. The younger man's hands moved to Jack's face, and he caressed the cheeks gently.  
  
"Jack ..."  
  
"Hey," Jack said, seeing his lover's misting eyes. "Danny, what's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing. Nothing is wrong. Everything is right. You. Me. Here. Right."  
  
"That it is, Love."  
  
Jack leaned down and kissed Daniel, and then rested his head on Daniel's damp chest. Daniel kissed the top of Jack's head and held his lover to him.  
  
"Mine. All mine."  
  
"All yours." Jack could feel Daniel's head nod. "Forever, Danny."  
  
"Forever."  
  
The two fell asleep, Daniel holding on to Jack tightly. Normally, they slept in the reverse, Jack with his arms around the younger man, but Daniel needed this. In the wee hours of this morning, he needed to make sure Jack was bound to him, and he did that by holding on, and Jack never tried to move.  
  
It was Daniel who woke the older man at 8 a.m. by nibbling on his ear. They didn't have to be at the SGC until eleven in the morning, so after more nibbling and some good morning kisses, they showered together.  
  
"Wash my back," Daniel asked.  
  
His eyes seemed to say something more, and again, Jack wasn't sure what it was, but Daniel had a need, and Jack was more than willing to comply, washing every part of Daniel's body.  
  
"Why don't we go eat?" Jack suggested when they were done, but Daniel shook his head.  
  
With the strong spray still falling against them, he made another very simple request: "Hold me."  
  
Jack did. They stood under the waterfall of the shower for several minutes, Jack holding Daniel close, his hands rubbing the young man's back in soothing strokes.  
  
"Love you to the moon and back and beyond," Jack said tenderly.  
  
"And to the worlds beyond our universe," Daniel replied with a smile.  
  
"That's a given."  
  
It was roughly 9 a.m. when they dressed, only this time, Jack tossed Daniel his blue sweatsuit to wear. The younger man smiled, and happily put it on.  
  
"I'm going to check and see what you have that's fit for breakfast," Jack said, going into the kitchen as Daniel finished dressing.  
  
A minute later, Daniel panicked. He hurried into the kitchen where he found Jack leaning against the counter, arms folded, with an undecipherable look on his face. After a moment, Jack asked calmly, "Something you want to tell me, Danny?"  
  
"Hmm, no," he answered. "You, uh, already found ... them."  
  
"I found a bowl of what must be year-old mold disguised as ... I'm not sure what it was to tell you the truth ... in the refrigerator, went to throw it in the trash, and saw my pal, Toucan Sam, smiling up at me," Jack explained, referring to the colorful bird that adorned the boxes of his favorite cereal.  
  
Daniel hadn't missed the box of Froot Loops that sat on the counter: well placed, not to be missed by anyone looking. For a minute, Daniel saw his world shattering again, but then Jack smiled, extended his arms, and beckoned his soulmate.  
  
"Come here, Danny."  
  
He hesitated only for a few seconds, but then walked to Jack who took Daniel's hands in his. He looked deeply into his eyes and leaned in for a kiss.  
  
"Talk to me," Jack requested.  
  
"I was ... last night ... I mean, it was cold ... and ... insomnia ... and, uh ... control ... no control, and I ... I mean ... gawd," Daniel bowed his head.  
  
Jack let out a small and gentle laugh as he took Daniel into his arms.  
  
"Are you trying to say you missed me?" Jack felt Daniel's head nod in agreement. "So much so that you ... what?"  
  
"Was going to break up with you."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Dumb, huh?"  
  
"Very."  
  
"Not much of a genius, am I?"  
  
Jack smiled and maneuvered his lover back so they could again gaze into the other's eyes.  
  
"Danny, it's okay, but I think we need to talk about it."  
  
"I thought you were the one who hated to talk."  
  
"Not where you're concerned. I'll do anything for you, even talk. We have some time, so how about we go snuggle on the sofa, and you can tell me what went on in that genius brain of yours?"  
  
Again, Daniel nodded, and then he took Jack's hand and led him to the sofa. They sat facing each other, their hands never losing contact, always caressing the other as they talked.  
  
"Okay, I'm listening."  
  
"Jack, I don't want to hurt you."  
  
"You're not. We're not breaking up ... right?"  
  
Daniel's huge grin was all the answer Jack needed, but just to make sure Daniel said, "No way, O'Neill. You're mine."  
  
"Yes, I am," Jack said, leaning down to kiss the top of Daniel's hand.  
  
"So ... tell me."  
  
"I missed you. I missed you so much. I came home and paid the bills. I fed the fish. I even returned a few phone calls, and then ... then I was cold, so cold." Daniel looked down for a second. He continued talking, still looking down, but after a few words, he again looked at his lover. "I read one of my books, full of those ancient civilization stories that drive you crazy, but it ... I didn't have you beside me to ... to tease me or ... tell me I'd been reading too long ... or ... gawd, to turn on the light."  
  
"Daniel," Jack interrupted, "were you reading in the dark?" Daniel shrugged. "What am I going to do with you?"  
  
"Love me?" Daniel asked tentatively.  
  
"Danny," Jack said with a cracked voice. "I do love you. I will always love you." He reached over and brushed back some strands of Daniel's hair that were hanging down in front of the younger man's eyes. "I love you. That's not going to change ... ever."  
  
Daniel smiled and Jack's hand returned to hold his lover's.  
  
Daniel sighed and then continued, "So, then I went to eat something, but nothing looked good, except for the Froot Loops. Jack, I was going to eat Froot Loops. I don't even like Froot Loops," Daniel said, almost in tears at the thought.  
  
"Loops are good for ya," Jack teased.  
  
"That's when I threw them away, and then I went to bed. I couldn't sleep. I don't know how long I tried, but no matter what, I just kept missing you. My pillow was hard, not warm and ... and ..."  
  
"And what?"  
  
"Comfy," Daniel said shyly.  
  
Jack smiled. Daniel was always the most comfortable when he had his Jack pillow to sleep on.  
  
"And ..." Jack urged his lover on.  
  
"It hit me. How much I rely on you, need you, want you. Jack, I've lost control. All my life, the one thing I had besides education was myself. I never needed anything, anyone else. I safeguarded ... me, I guess, but I've ... with you ... I let you in, and ... I've just lost control. You're ... pa...part of me and ... it scares me that I can't spend one lousy night in my apartment alone without going insane."  
  
"And whose bright idea was it for you to spend the night here?"  
  
"Jack, we can't be together every second of the day."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
Daniel was stunned by the sincerity he saw in Jack's brown eyes. He was dead serious.  
  
"We ... we can't. Jack, people ... they watch us. I'm ... married, and ... and ... we just ... it wouldn't be smart."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Be...cause ... it's so new, Jack. I'm ... I need to have some control over my emotions. I need ..."  
  
"You need to trust me."  
  
"I do."  
  
"Mostly, but we'll work on it."  
  
"Jack ..."  
  
"Danny, we tried slowing down. We broke up. Didn't work."  
  
"Gawd, I don't want that."  
  
"Then why make ourselves miserable?" Daniel sighed in response. "Danny, you think I had a good time last night before I came here? I want you to know I missed what the sports commentator said on the news was the play of the lifetime during the hockey game. Daniel, I was watching the hockey game except when I looked at the screen, I didn't see hockey, I saw ... you, your beautiful blue eyes, your sexy smile, your non-regulation haircut ..."  
  
"Jack!"  
  
Both men laughed.  
  
"I missed the play of a lifetime thinking about you."  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
"Oh, Danny. I was miserable. I went to bed and had three blankets and the comforter on me, but ... I was cold, too. I needed my very sexy, warm, beautiful, adorable ..."  
  
"You can stop, Jack," Daniel said, blushing.  
  
"Look, I know we're still relatively new, and maybe you're not ready for twenty-four/seven, but I am, whenever you are."  
  
Daniel looked like a guppy as he stared at Jack, his mouth open and eyes wide.  
  
"Jack, what I feel ... it just ... scares me. I need a little time to ... to ... I don't know."  
  
"Get used to being loved?" Daniel nodded and smiled shyly. "Time we have, but on those nights, like last night, let's not fight it. Okay?"  
  
"Okay."  
  
"I'm starved," Jack said. "Since my Loops are trashed, let's hit IHOP."  
  
Jack stood and had started to get his jacket off the chair when Daniel's call stopped him.  
  
"Jack?"  
  
"Yes, Love?"  
  
"I have a confession to make."  
  
"Okay."  
  
Daniel stood and a bit nervously walked to his bookshelves. The bottom of one had a cabinet with two shelves in it. Jack had always assumed more books or artifacts were in there, but now, he stood completely stunned as Daniel opened them to reveal ...  
  
"It's my Jack stash. In case we run out. I mean, sometimes ... I just ... It's silly, but I wanted backup, so I keep it ... stashed."  
  
Jack laughed, more in love than ever with the shy young man who was in front of him. The Jack stash included two boxes of Froot Loops as well as Jack's favorite candies, cookies, pretzels, and other delights.  
  
Daniel pulled out one of the boxes and handed it to Jack who stared at it.  
  
"So, when you tossed my Loops ..."  
  
"I knew I had more."  
  
Jack threw the box onto the sofa and took Daniel into his arms, kissing him until both were gasping for air.  
  
"We're forever, Danny; I am so not letting you go. You can try, but it's never, ever happening."  
  
Jack chose to push to the rear of his mind the possibility of Sha're returning and taking his forever away from him. Instead, in the here and now, he focused on their forever, on his and Daniel's ... together.  
  
"I love you, Daniel Jackson."  
  
"I love you, too. Jack ... My Jack ..." Daniel inched toward his lover, "My ... forever Jack," he whispered as the lovers kissed.  
  
Leaving the Froot Loops on the sofa, the two adjourned to Daniel's bed where they lay together, snuggling and fondling, kissing and touching, loving and caressing in their nation of two. Their love was the only nourishment the two required on this day ... at least for another hour until they had to be at the SGC. Fortunately, Daniel's apartment was just twenty minutes away from Cheyenne Mountain, so they still had another half hour before they'd have to leave for work.  
  
Jack caressed Daniel's cheek, his fingers moving to trace the edge of Daniel's left ear.  
  
"Jack ... Jack," Daniel sighed happily as they cuddled and held on tight to each other's hearts. "Oh, Jack ..."  
  
Finis - Finished - Done - The End - But is it ever Really? 


End file.
